this is who i am.

seeing as the title of my blog is "simply me" i feel that i should write a post about who i really am. the things that are important and the things that define me.

my name is melissa ashley fitzen.

i am the daughter of david and donna fitzen. i am the oldest of six children.

i have one sister (Kimberly) and four brothers (Jonathon, Nathan, Parker, & Logan).

i love my family with all my heart.

i am a child of God.

i know with all of my heart that I am a child of God. I know that He loves me. I know that he loves you. We can't truly comprehend it but it is real and I feel his love daily through his tender mercies.

i am girl.

i do stupid things like eat ice cream while watching chick flicks and crying. i care about what others think. i dress up for guys. i watch wedding shows on TLC. i am a girl and i do girly things.

i am optimistic.

i know without a doubt that things will always get better. i know that our loving Father in Heaven is ALWAYS looking out for us. He will not rip us off. He cares so much about us and he ultimately wants us to be happy. Everything he asks us to do or allows to happen to us is to strengthen us and make us SO much happier in the end. life is good. (:

i am a musician.

i love music (maybe that is why i'm majoring in it). i love love love it. i love being able to share the gospel through music. i love playing piano. i love feeling the spirit that music can bring. i love to express myself when i play. it is something i have complete control over and can make personally mine (: it is incredible. i love singing. i love to smile and make people happy when they hear music. it is such an incredible blessing to have music in my life.

i am passionate.

i care deeply about the things that are a part of me: the gospel, music, family, friends. i don't know how to describe this but i am passionate in all that i do. i try to do things to the fullest.

i am loving.

i truly open up my heart to people. i love people. i don't need to know them. Heavenly Father loves them...that should be enough for me.

i am a teacher.

i find indescribable joy in teaching other people. i love to teach the gospel, music, or just things i have learned in school. it makes it feel like there is a purpose to all the learning i have done. i love to share that with other people.

i am confident.

i know who i am. i know that Heavenly Father loves me. nothing else really matters in the end. i am melissa ashely fitzen. this is who i am. take it or leave it.

"hope ya know, we had a hard time"

there are periods in our lives that are full of joy and laughter. times of accomplishment and pride. times of deep spirituality and reflection. times of sadness.

in hard times we are supposed to make a list of our blessings or things we are grateful for. here are some of mine:

family.
friends.
house.
food.
cell phone.
laptop.
camera.
internet.
email.
music.
piano.
the gosple of jesus christ.
calling (sunday school teacher).
car.
fully functional body.
lack of allergy to chocolate.
holy ghost.
scriptures.
jay patrick valle.
temple.
testimony.
education.
opportunity to sing in general conference.
opportunity to sing at president's club.
jazz choir.
chemistry.
nail polish.
pillows.
my own bed.
shoes.
mom.
dad.
technology in general.
shampoo AND conditioner.
church building.
TV.
brain.
ukulele.
graphing calculator.
candles.
headbands.
letters.
tender mercies.
socks.
the sun.
kites. (especially owl ones named roberto).
fruit.
grocery stores.
electricity.
pictures.
tears.
quotes.
mormon messages.
.........

i could go on and on. it's amazing how this simple act can make such a difference in a person's life. there is a mormon message based on a talk given by quinten l. cook. it is titled "hope ya know, we had a hard time." watch it. even though i am having a hard time this summer there is always so much good in the world. we may not know why everything happens the way it does, but there is someone who does know and he loves us more than we know (:

my weaknesses.

ok. i have to say i have a few weaknesses. and i am about to admit them to the world.

#1 chocolate. this is probably a given since i am a girl but still i can say i'm a succor for some good chocolate. #2 good jazz music. ever since doing jazz choir i can't get enough of it. jane monheit, ella fitzgerald, etc. tight harmonies, stylized vocals, improv, AH.
#3 a grand piano. a black steinway on a stage. kill me now. i want one so bad! yup that about sums that one up.
#4 a black dress. with a belt...and POCKETS. yes! and killer heals.

#5 a good chick flick. i love those cheesy, teary, over-rated movies. #6 a button up shirt. jeans. on an attractive male. with some wondeful smelling cologne. mmm. enough said.

summer goals.

hello blog. it's been awhile. i've been itching to write here for quite some time but i have never been sure exactly what subject would be blog worthy. well know i have found one (: goals. i have several goals for this summer.

#1 memory quilt.
i had a million old t-shirts from various events and groups i have participated in. i have had this idea for approx. 3 years but it is finally becoming a reality. i wanted to cut up all my shirts and put them into a giant quilt to represent me, my life and my passions. so i am currently in the finishing stages of this project and may i say it is turning out FANTASTIC (: yay. it makes me so happy. i get to relive a lot of memories while making this quilt. so many good times in my life. i have definitely been blessed. i have cut and sewn all the shirts together and now i just have to put the back on and tie it. mission #1 is soon to be complete.

#2 loose weight.
my plan is just to not eat and exercise 4 hrs a day. or i guess i could eat 500 cal. a day and then take hormones. either way...sounds great right??? NOT. i hate unhealthy diets. i love food, especially chocolate. so my goal is to become more healthy and toned. whatever weight that turns out to be will make me happy. my junior year i was approx. 140 lbs. i could almost fit into a size 8 pants. i was happy and healthy. that is all i want to be. i don't want to starve myself or excerise excessive amounts of time. i want to watch what i eat and exercise as often as possible. that is the ultimate goal this summer. so far it is going rather well.

#3 get a job.
well this mission is accomplished two fold (: yay! the first week i was home i got a job at jumpin' jungle. i was SO blessed. wow, i can't begin to describe how grateful i am for this job. then i ended up being blessed again with a job at chevron (yes, the gas station). i'm not sure how i got so lucky but i am SO thankful. i get approx. 40 hours a week. it is very nice to keep busy and on my feet all day. i love both of these jobs because i get to interact with people 100% of the time. i feel like i am accomplishing something and i try to make someone's day better. it is a wonderful opportunity. my job at chevron has really been an eye-opener for me in many ways. first off, it is crazy to see how many people waste tons of money on stuff like alcohol, tabacco, and the lottery. it is literally insane. besides that this week i have had two very striking comments from customers that have really stuck with me. first off, i had this young guy that i didn't recognize come up and say "i never thought i would see the skyview validictorian working here" i don't know if he was surprised, pleased, or disgusted. my first reaction was to take offense. just because i work at a gas station doesn't mean i'm stupid. there are some amazing people that work at chevron with me. there is an older lady named joella (jo for short). she has given up a lot for her family and changed her life. she is a great, kind lady. she feeds the stray cats in the neighborhoods around our store. she is super sweet. then there is leon. he is such a hard-working guy. he is also an older gentleman that is making sacrifices for his family. he is always working and he cares about each and every customer. he tries to get to know people's names and crack jokes to brighten their days. honestly, before i went to college i would never have wanted to work at a gas station. they are gross and can get robbed and etc. but i have realized that money is a necessary evil (ha) and that if i want to continue with my goal of getting an education without taking out any loans than i need to take what jobs i can get. education is incredibly important to me and i want to be able to get as much done as i can. i want to set a good example for my children and i want to be an intelligent person.
the other comment i recieved this week was really cool. some customer was asking me where i went to school. i told him byu-i. he said "oh those are the mormons" i said "yes i am a mormon" he then said "i knew you were because you are so kind" he smiled and then went on his way. that was powerful. i am so glad that at least someone has a good image associated with the lds people. in the world full of so much turmoil people can see that we still have something to live for. there is a light in our eyes and a brightness in our countenances that people yearn for. i'm so grateful for the gospel. i wish i could share it with every single person. if they could only know how much happiness it would bring to them. there is no way to describe it. it is pure joy. (: ah.

someone needs your star

Do you know that God designed you to glow? And you hold the Father's promise in your soul. You may be just on light in the sky but you are enough to light up a darkened night.

Chorus: Someone needs your star. Someone needs the light you have inside. So rise up high, you were meant to shine and never hide. Spread your good works wide and far. Someone needs your star.

Someone needs one simple light to bring them hope. you may feel small but you hold more goodness than you know. Desperately someon's reaching to find a beacon of strength that they can hold onto tonight.

-Jenny Phillips

Perhaps it is just me but i can't get over how powerful these lyrics are. I think in the world today there is a growing problem, especially in the church, of having the desire to be perfect. Yes i know that we are supposed to be perfect or we cannot enter the kingdom, but i also know several people personally that are suffering mental and physical illnesses because of the pressures they put upon themselves to be the ideal person. Sorry to break it to you but that perfect mom, brother, father, daughter, aunt, cousin, student, teacher, etc does not exist. Every single one of us is a valiant servant. Why else would we be saved for the last days? Heavenly Father knows each of us personally and he knew we would be able to be strong in these last days. We are endowed with divine power from heaven because we are literal children of God. We have a light inside of each of us. Instead of focusing on ourselves we should share that light with others and try to lift others up. My ultimate goal is to be the Lord's hands here on earth. I know I haven't been doing the best job at that. This last year at school I have learned some pretty powerful lessons about others and myself. I have been through a lot of trials. And I am honestly grateful for everyone. I have noticed in my trials I am much closer to my Father in Heaven. I rely on his love and strength. I strive to always have his spirit with me. As I have done so I have been touched by others that have been in the right place and frame of mind so that the Lord could use them to help me. There have many "angels" that have been sent as tender mercies from my loving Heavenly Father. I want to be able to be this for someone else. I want someone to be able to look at me and be able to gain strength just from the light in my eyes (: This is my new goal (: I am so grateful for this gospel and I know it is true. I know that each of us is loved and cherished by our Heavenly Parents.

You are meant to shine.

call me pathetic...

call me pathetic but i have never owned an ipod. i have had several mp3 players. and don't get me wrong those were great. but they have all died or gotten lost or passed on to younger siblings. i really want an ipod. now this may seem materialistic or stupid but i really do. i am currently in the process of checking prices everywhere to find the best one. i want the 5th generation one which they do not carry in stores so it is a tad bit difficult. hmmm. well it is all fun (: i just want something to play music while i work on my weight loss goal this summer. i think i have found some good options so i will talk them over and then i will show you my new treasure. i'm pretty stoked. it will be my birthday present to myself (: yay!

peace out!

(:

thoughts for a saturday afternoon

it is impossible to put into words all the thoughts that are swirling through my mind. there are so many things i have yet to do. there are so many things i want to be. there are so many things i wish i could learn. there are so many places i wish i could go. there are people i miss. and there are things that don't really fit into any of those categories. sometimes we wish we had all the answers. (: we never will have all the answers but we will have the Lord who has all the answers. he lives. (:

oh what do you do in the summertime?

hello again. i haven't written here in months. i have been very busy completing my first year of college! boo ya! i'm pretty proud of myself if i can say that (: i have learned a lot these past two semesters and I have made some pretty incredbile friends. i feel so much more grown up and i'm not even a year older (at least for 18 more days). haha. there is no place like home. i love being home. i am here for 5 whole months. this is crazy. i'm sure i will start to miss rexburg but for right now i love being home with just my mom. i love having time to work out. i love being able to start new projects that don't involve school. one of my goals this summer is to read the entire old testament. i know i should have done this by now but i haven't :/ i am stoked. the goal is to read 8 pages a day. if i can do this i will finish it by sept. 3 which is right before i go back to school. i'm excited! (: i also am going to begin working on a memory quilt. this quilt will be made of old shirts from different activities, concerts, choirs, etc that i have been involved with. it is going to be amazing. i am excited for this summer. i have some job offers and i am going to teach little kids piano. i am a little nervous but i have to give it a try sometime. i know this summer is going to hold brand new adventures. i am currently making lots of personal and spiritual goals. i am just stoked to be home and be able to focus on something besides school and crazy roommates (: lol. have a good one!