time flys when you're having fun.

Life goes by so quickly. At least it seems like it.

I remember the beginning of the summer. I had big plans to get ready for college, exercise, work, play, date, and have fun. The summer is almost over though. I have 47 days left still school starts. It's CRAZY!

I decided to write about this today because I was bored. I was looking through some pictures and found a prom album from last year on facebook. It was fun to see how my friends and I have changed.

Chris Redd is serving a mission. He was called to serve in Spain but as his visa goes through he spends his service in Provo, UT. Jay Valle is preparing for a mission as well. He leaves in October. He is going to be serving in Argentina. Bridget has been happily married for a week and one day! She finished a year of college and then moved to Arizona to follow the man that is now her husband. Oh my goodness! It's just crazy to think that just a year ago we were all in high school.

In addition, yesterday Logan decided to watch family videos. I was in the family room so I started watching them with him. It was fun. There was one part that caught my attention. I started yelling to my friend on the playground. His name is Jordan Bloomquist. So I decided I would go on facebook and look for him again. I found him! He goes to BYU-I too! Then I was looking at his pictures to see what he was up to and found he is friends with another one of my old friends Alex McRae. Alex also goes to BYU-I. We used to take piano lessons together when I first moved to Nampa. These boys used to be some of my good friends. It's a small world.

I went up to girls camp this year. I was bored and didn't have anything to do and I felt like it would be a good thing to do. So I went. During the testimony meeting I was looking around and realized I had babysat practically every girl there. It was funny. It's so fun to watch them grow up. (ha! that just made me sound old.) But really, it's amazing for me to look around and notice all the changes with my friends in just the last year or so. I guess the old saying "Time flys when you're having fun!" holds true.

It was just last week that I was at Roaring Springs and saw Jon Schmidt in concert, which by the way was absolutely incredible. Jon has a keen 6th sense for music. It is purely natural and inspired. He also has a powerful testimony that he shares through his music. It is wonderful. I can't believe it was a week ago. On the topic of concerts...last night some friends and I saw Moose Butter. They are a group of 4 men that sing acapella. They are also very funny! I got a kick out of their improvised harmony of Justin Beiber and Hannah Montanna. (: good times.

the situation.

So I have a feeling that today will not be a good day. Everything about the situation is starting to hit me and my family.

My dad has lost his job. He has been out of work for over a month. He applies for several jobs a day and has at least one interview a week but still nothing. We keep praying and hoping but I guess that's all part of this trial. We just barely, as of last week started recieving unemployment. This gives us $300 a week. This is only a fraction of what my dad used to bring in before. The frustrating thing is that no matter how much we cut back this will not provide the needed money for the house payment, food, utilities, and gas.

Sometimes when I face this reality I begin to become excited for college. I will be on my own providing for just me. I have scholarships and will hopefully be able to get a job to offer some spending money. I will be able to take care of myself. But then I feel guilty. It seems like I'm almost deserting my family. I will be happy and they might not be if my dad doesn't find a job quickly.

I know the Lord will provide for us. I know He and many other people love us and will support us through this trial.

I just don't know what to do at the moment. I can't live like this is not happening but I can't (and won't) be depressed all day.

I think for now I am going to act on the promise I made to my home teachers just yesterday. And that is to make a list of all the people I know (especially inactive or non-member ones) and put it in my scriptures and then each time I read I will be able to see their names and think of how I will be able to help those of them who I am directed to know need help.

President Henry B. Eyring wrote the First Presidency message for this month. Among his brilliant words is this quote I want to end with:
"In the next few days you will have many opportunites to be a friend for Him. It may be as you walk on a dusty road. It may be as you sti down in a rialroad car. It may be as you look for a place to sit in a Church congregation. If you are watching, you will see someone carrying a heavy burden. It may be a burden of sorrow or loneliness or resentment. It may be visible to you only if you have prayed for the Spirit to give you eyes to see into hearts and have promised to life up the hands that hang down."

(:

waterslides and gratitude.

So, there is an amazing water park in Meridian...Roaring Springs. Everyone goes there. It's pretty insane. Several intense waterslides, group rides, lazy river, wave pool...yeah.

I have only been to this water park once before last night and it was not the best experience. It was 5th grade. For our end of the year field trip we got to go to Roaring Springs. It was a big deal. Now I have an intense fear of height, which at this time I had not even tried to conquer. I think you can tell where this is going already...... Well basically I couldn't even make it up the stairs to some of these waterslides so I ended up not going on hardly anything. What made it worse, at least for a little insecure 5th grade girl is that my friends could. They kept bugging me to do stuff and eventually I ended up alone floating the lazy river for 3 hours. I also ended up with the worst sunburn I have had in my life. But overall the main bad memory associated with it is the loneliness.

Well since this time I have conquered much of my fear of heights. I have been on several roller coasters and hiking. But I think the big difference is is that on rollercoasters you start on the ground and once you're on, you're on for the whole ride. With waterslides you have many chances to back out. Anyways, I really thought I would be able to do it this time. I have even gone on other waterslides. So we have a regional young single adult (YSA) conference and we get to go for free so I decide to go. My friend and I grab a mat to go on the racing slides and as we begin the first flight of stairs my body just freezes and begins to freak out. I can't do it. I want to, but I can't bring myself to do it. I'm pretty upset with myself and I'm afraid I will have to relive the experience of last time. Lame.

But my friend turns to me and says "I'll do whatever you want to do. I want you to have fun." Although I didn't believe it at first, it soon meant the world to me. Last night was a blast and I ended up having a ton of fun even though I couldn't go on any of the "cool" waterslides.

THANK YOU (:

i love...

I love the gospel. I love being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I love Gordon B. Hinckley, Joseph Smith, and all the other great apostles and prophets that have helped to bring to pass this work in the fullness of times. I love the knowledge of the atonement and the plan of happiness I have. I love Jesus Christ, my Savior. I love my Heavenly Father. I love the fact that I can pray to Heavenly Father and know that He is listening and answers my prayers. I love the spirit. I love crying because I can feel the spirit.

I love my family. I love my Dad and his quirks. I love my mom and the wonderful, amazing, completely incredible person she is. I love Jonathon and his mumbly singing. I love Nathan and his "i'm a hunk" looks. I love Parker and his insane brillian mind. I love Kimmy and her unconditional love and kindness. I love Logan and the way he can make you feel better in a instant with his hugs, smiles, and kisses.

I love playing piano. I love being able to sing. I love music. I love learning. I love running. I love smiling. I love camping. I love being outdoors. I love cooking. I love chocolate. I love reading. I love succeeding. I love being happy. I love making people laugh. I love laughing. I love making myself look really good. I love having a clean room. I love texting. I love the sun. I love school. I love being unbelievably busy. I love flip flops. I love taking walks. I love picnics. I love running through the fountain. I love flirting.

I love life. I love it.

I know this seems odd since my last post, just yesterday, talks about all my frustrations but right now I am so happy. The church makes me realize all that I have to be happy for and once I start going its hard to stop. -- I love the Relief Society presidency of the Nampa 28th ward for the incredible lesson on the atonement that touched my heart today. I love the Sunday School President of the Nampa 28th ward for the wonderful video he showed us and for his powerful testimony and knowledge. I love the missionaries that shared their thoughts with us. Their testimonies are an example to me. I love my ward. I love my friends. I love my Bishop.

And again, I love life.
Come what may.

(:

life is hard.

life. its hard.

I've always heard that trials seem to hit all at the same time. you usually don't have one big thing happen. It seems as soon as one big thing hits several semi-big things arrive the join the chaos. Well recently my dad lost his job. We have basically no income right now. It's different for sure. Then our laptop started freaking out. The hard drive is bi-polar so it can be a bit frustrating. This week our dryer broke. At least we still have a washer but currently our clothes are drying in the back yard. I never realized how much I loved our old, loud dryer. Everyone is a little on edge lately, including me. No one is quite sure what to do with our situation. We want to try to live normally as to not place stress on dad and rub salt in the wound by sounding the fact he is unemployed but we also have to realize the fact that we shouldn't be taking anything for granted. It's a tough balance. With everyone on edge contention, sad to say, has a almost permenant presence in our home. No matter how much we try it still stays. My brother just punched a hole in my parents' door the other day. haha. it's sure fun.

I love my family. And it's hard for me to have this trial, especially right before I leave for college. I had this fairytale dream that we would be happy and able to just play all summer, then have a blast on a last summer vacation before I'm gone for a year. I don't see that happening.

but, that's ok. Our family has been so blessed for so long. While tons of families in our ward were in and out of work, losing their homes, and pretending to be something they're not, my family was living a pleasant and comfortable life. We had EVERYTHING we needed, and even stuff we didn't need.

and, we are still being blessed. My dad has had several job interviews. I have been able to find things for college at thrift stores and yard sales. Today I bought super nice cookie sheets for $1. I also got some bowls, organizing containers, etc. One thing I'm super excited about finding is Christmas glasses. I know it sounds weird, but let me explain. We have these super pretty glasses that have holly and berries on them that we use for Christmas dinner and sometimes Thanksgiving. They don't make these glasses anymore, but I found some! 15 for $2!!! I'm so excited (: I get to carry on the tradition with my future family. It will be so special.

in addition, I have had so many prayers answered and angels watching over me this last little while. FIRST of all, at Girls Camp last week we were in a fireside that was really interesting. All of the sudden a car alarm started going off. It was getting very distracting. I prayed that the car alarm would stop so I could get something out of this wonderful fireside. Literally right after I finished my prayer...it stopped! It was amazing. My own personal miracle. The SECOND event occurred when I was at the firework show in Melba with my family and Jay. Jay and I had walked over to see one of my friends. On our way back we had to cross a small street. We made sure we had clearance to pass since it was getting darker. We started walking and the orange pickup just kept speeding up. After he yelled out they finally stopped with the bummer touching my side. I literally could have died or been injured. It was so scary. I started crying and wouldn't stop shaking. I didn't realize what was happening, but Heavenly Father did. He loves me so much! I wish I could love him even a fraction of what he loves me. wow. THIRD, I recently had to make a really important decision. I prayed and got the answer. I knew what I had to do but it was a little scary. I then prayed for strength. I received that too. Then after I acted on the answer with the strength I thought I would be ok. I'm not. It's hard to deal with the side effects of this action. I know I did the right thing which makes it a bit easier, but it's still a huge adjustment. Sometimes I succeed in distracting myself but there is usually something there to remind me (ha! i just realized that is a song.)

and, there is one MORE blessing. Yesterday was Friday July 9th. I woke up with a bad outlook since I knew I would most likely have nothing to do that day and nothing that night to look forward to the whole day. What kind of young teenager am I? Nothing to do on a Friday night = lame. I didn't even have a babysitting job. Anyways in my morning prayers I asked Heavenly Father that if there was any way He could make it so I got my AP scores that day it would be amazing. Now maybe they were already in the mail and I would have gotten them anyways so my prayer was more on the lines of coincidence but I'd like to think it was an answered prayer because Heavenly Father knew ahead of time that I would need that yesterday (: so I'm sticking with that story. Anyways, the mail came early that day and carried with it my AP Scores. I was so nervous to open it. But I did, and immediately started crying. Just before I tell you my scores I should explain how it works. They are graded on a scale of 1 to 5. A 3 and above is passing. Previous to this year I have recieved a 3 on AP US History and a 4 on AP English Language and Composition. This year I took three AP tests. I worked my butt off for each of them. I studied my brains out and stressed for weeks. I was almost positive I had failed Statistics. Well so back to the reason I started crying...I recieved a "5" on AP English Literature and Composition and on AP Statistics!!! In addition I recieved a "4" on AP Government and Politics. I was so unbelievably happy!! I had to keep checking to make sure the scores were real. (: oh gosh! talk about distracting. I just can't express my happiness!

Anyways...so life is hard. but there are so many things to be grateful for (: well I better go and figure out what my plans are for tonight. peace out!