the situation.

So I have a feeling that today will not be a good day. Everything about the situation is starting to hit me and my family.

My dad has lost his job. He has been out of work for over a month. He applies for several jobs a day and has at least one interview a week but still nothing. We keep praying and hoping but I guess that's all part of this trial. We just barely, as of last week started recieving unemployment. This gives us $300 a week. This is only a fraction of what my dad used to bring in before. The frustrating thing is that no matter how much we cut back this will not provide the needed money for the house payment, food, utilities, and gas.

Sometimes when I face this reality I begin to become excited for college. I will be on my own providing for just me. I have scholarships and will hopefully be able to get a job to offer some spending money. I will be able to take care of myself. But then I feel guilty. It seems like I'm almost deserting my family. I will be happy and they might not be if my dad doesn't find a job quickly.

I know the Lord will provide for us. I know He and many other people love us and will support us through this trial.

I just don't know what to do at the moment. I can't live like this is not happening but I can't (and won't) be depressed all day.

I think for now I am going to act on the promise I made to my home teachers just yesterday. And that is to make a list of all the people I know (especially inactive or non-member ones) and put it in my scriptures and then each time I read I will be able to see their names and think of how I will be able to help those of them who I am directed to know need help.

President Henry B. Eyring wrote the First Presidency message for this month. Among his brilliant words is this quote I want to end with:
"In the next few days you will have many opportunites to be a friend for Him. It may be as you walk on a dusty road. It may be as you sti down in a rialroad car. It may be as you look for a place to sit in a Church congregation. If you are watching, you will see someone carrying a heavy burden. It may be a burden of sorrow or loneliness or resentment. It may be visible to you only if you have prayed for the Spirit to give you eyes to see into hearts and have promised to life up the hands that hang down."

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