passion.

wow. Well here I am sitting in my dorm room. It's been awhile since I've updated this thing and even if no one cares I feel obligated to update the blog on my current situation and thoughts.

College is honestly crazy. It is everything I expected and nothing I expected. Let me explain. BYU-I is amazing. There is an incredible spirit here. The campus in simply beautiful. The people are friendly (minus the girl who got up and moved after I sat next to her but that's her business). Calculus and physics are challenging. The h.w. is intense. My room is cute. On the other hand I have had some very unexpected situations come into my life. Some that are amazing and others not so much. I was called to 2nd counselor of my ward's Relief Society. It is amazing. The other members of the presidency are inspiring and loving. They are also real. I love that about them. We are going to the temple tomorrow (: yay! I've been needing that.

The last couple weeks have been terribly stressful and emotional. I'm not complaining. My problems are not anywhere near what many others in the world are facing but they are still problems. I won't tell you exactly what is going on since I can't disclose much of the information but it is at times quite overwhelming.

My piano professor and wonderful mother put some things in perspective for me.

I went in to play some music for the piano professor so he could assess my talent and recommend my student teacher as to where to direct me as to goals for this semester. I played my piece and he pointed out some good things I did. He then asked me what my goals were. I said that I wanted to work on the technical aspect of piano since I believe I have a good grip on playing with emotion. He then sat for a second and said: "You don't need to work on the technical aspect. You have everything that you need. You are talented, and you are musical, but your real gift is your passion. I sense a great sense of energy in you. The reason you are having a hard time deciding what to minor in is because of your passion. When you pick something to do you stick to it. You have a strong conviction and dedication and you don't do anything half way. Your passion comes through in your music. You invest so much of yourself into the piece sometimes though that it becomes overwhelming and the passion overcomes your ability to relax and play. You need to learn to hold some of yourself back."

Sorry that that was so long but it conveys a special message and insight for me that I never realized. I am very defensive of things that I care about. I get personally offended when someone speaks against the gospel or my friends. I get "depressed" when people mock my love for academics and music. When people question my abilities or my loves or passions I get frustrated. I don't like to do things half way. I work and give things my all. I devote my whole self to things I am set on doing.

It is just a part of me. I love the gospel. I love to learn. I love music. I love my best friend. I love my family. I love the scriptures. I love feeling the spirit. I love praying and getting answers. I love going to the temple. I love being me. and that's all that I can be.

"Whatever you are, be a good one." -quote above our front door.